I kept opening my bible immediately to this page almost all the time for the past few days. I've been facing some personal struggles the past few days. And i am sure as christians, many of us face the struggle of falling again and again at the same spot. We end up being upset at ourselves, at how we are so weak we couldn't shake those temptations/trials/personal desires off and choose to react in a ungodly manner etc. And sometimes people ask themselves, "arent christians supposed to lead a victorious life? whats happening, why didnt God make me 100% holy the moment i first believed? As much as the spirit resists but our flesh keeps failing." We disappoint not only God, but we are disappointed at ourselves. We're guilty, we're ashamed. We ask, will we ever overcome this obstacle/sin? if thats been on our minds, let me show you today that there's hope. (: for each and everyone of us, no matter what our iniquities are.

Paul wrote it very beautifully in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. In short, he says its absolutely necessary to have such weaknesses in our life as christians. "Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. (does this ring a bell? (: )But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Many times we can accept the fact that the external world may be against us, and it doesnt matter. I mean, since almost the whole world was against Christ but He endured it- so we should endure the world for Christ's sake too. But we cant accept is the fact that our flesh is against us. Its stated here, its not only the external factors i.e. insults, hardships, persecutions and calamaties, it also includes our own weakness that we have to put up and be content with. I suppose Christ wasnt against himself, so its harder for us to grasp this 'dog-eat-dog; me-eat-me' thing, afterall He is God in human form and He is perfect, flesh and sin has no power over Him. (But dont worry, He understands this personal weakness struggles we humans have- I will talk about this further on.) I believe that when we get this point about weaknesses being unavoidable and essential for Christ to shine through (think: if theres no fire, why would a fire fighter be heroic) etched into our hearts and fully understood, comprehended , regurtitated, we will then fight from victory.

So since God himself is perfect, does He even know how it feels to have weaknesses and internal struggles? We've been brainwashed with the line "you havent been through it, you dont understand." And so though Jesus was man, He was God too and He is perfect, so how can he know how a man-man feels? He was man-God afterall right? But dont forget, God is God, surely the potter knows every single defect and every detail of the pots he crafts. Similarly, God who made us knows us even better than we know ourselves. He may not be in darkness, but he knows darkness because He created everything. "He knows what is in the darkness [dan 2:22]" but "even the darkness will not be dark to You.... for darkness is as light to You [ps 139:12]." Therefore there is no doubt that he does knows indeed the struggles we face. And look! In Psalm 103: 14, "For He knows our frame, He remembers that we are dust." God understands we are weak because we were made from dust afterall, He understands and He remembers. He doesnt condemn us (christians, non christians included) at all but continues to "show compassion (v.103)" because He knows we are weak. What an understanding and loving God we have! (:

In Isaiah 57:15, God reveals more of his self-sacrificial love to us in this verse. He lives not only "in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit." our God isnt just the high and almighty God who is far from us, far from our circumstance. But He is with us, in our darkness and in our dumps with all of us who are contrite and lowly in spirit. And why would He do that, why would He want to be with us in our cold and shameful places? Because He loves us so much, he wants to "revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." As previously mentioned "He knows what is in the darkness" and He knows what it feels like, and He doesnt want us to continue being in there. That is why He'll be doing all that is needed to not only revive us but also provide us with the encouragment meanwhile until we finally break free, for good. Acts 20:22-24 Paul had confidence, not only that God is sending him, but also God will see him through hard times. Psalms 41:3 "The Lord sustains him on his sickbed; in his illness you restore him to full health" It may not be an immediate change, but God will sustain us, we won't crumble in face of our own weaknesses, if only we continue to have faith and trust that in His own time, He'll deliver. In His time.

The next question comes, if God really knows how it is to have to endure our weaknesses and personal struggles, are you sure He will do all that sustaining and restoring? Won't he turn away and despise me and chuck me away? Isaiah 57:16-18 assures us that our unwaivering and decisive God will bring us out in His time.

These verses show us 2 things. 1) God sees us giving in to our weaknesses and sins and He does get angry at us 2) But upon seeing, He will not get angry forever, but promises us that He will heal and restore us till our souls are relieved and can sing praise. All of us have our weaknesses in one way or another, and sometimes we may feel ashamed and unworthy of His love. We may feel that by commiting a sin against God (eg. lying or raising your voice at your mom etc) is an immediate OUT! But let me just encourage you to not turn away from God in shame, cos thats what the devil's telling you btw, but remember God knows your weaknesses and understands, and more importantly He has promised that He will eventually heal and restore you of all these. Our God really, really loves us. "for he has said, 'I will never leave nor forsake you.' [hebrews 13:5]" As long deep in our hearts, we continue to have a heart that loves and fears Him, He will never chuck us away even when make a blooper. What a forgiving God we have!

I believe, too, that there are christians who have back slided because they arent able to forgive themselves for having weaknesses. Rmb my previous post on forgiveness, unforgiveness sets sinners from having proper fellowship and unforgiveness gives Satan mini victories. Similarly, when we cant forgive ourselves for our sins, we cant have proper fellowship ourselves (does this feeling seem familiar?) and we give in to Satan's deception of unworthiness, hence we face spiritual standstills/backslides and we feel really far from God. In reality, God is capable of forgiving ANYthing. There is absolutely no sin that is beyond His forgiveness. Psalm 103:12 "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Why do we even doubt the magnitude of His forgiveness? He is God who did and will do every impossible thing! We might feel far away sometimes, but let me assure you with this -when we feel we're far away, He is with us and He is for us. Isaiah 57:19 "Peace, peace, to those far and near..... and I will heal them." He said that He will heal those who are far. He will heal you who have stood too long in self-condemnation and self-unforgiveness. Lets turn our hearts back to Him and we'll find Him waiting for us... Isaiah 65:2 "all day long i have held out my hands to a disobedient & obstinate people." all day long.... (: Lets ask Him to continue to sustain us and provide us will all that's needed to follow Him, give us hope, and may He continue to do His work in us. (: God bless!

My bds (final exams) are on mon-thurs! (: keep us (esp ken belle nic myself) in prayer please! <3